


(FIC ABANDONED)Better To Check Than To Reflect

by bugging



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Coffee, Corrupted Steven Universe, Described corruption, Heavy Angst, Sad times, light blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-01-23 07:49:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21316693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bugging/pseuds/bugging
Summary: Steven is getting really into coffee.(THIS FIC ISN'T GOING TO BE COMPLETED, SORRY)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 105





	1. Mocha

“Oh- good morning Steven!” Pearl jerked back, avoiding collision with a tired Steven, who nearly jumped out of his skin at her surprised voice. He stumbled backwards a step; Pearl caught his arm before he fell back on the stairs.

“Pearl! You’re up early...sorry, did I disturb you?” Steven gathered his balance and yawned, rubbing his eyes; Pearl noticed he seemed less enthusiastic than usual, but chose not to comment on it. She watched him continue to waddle over to the kitchen before remembering to reply, “No, no; you know gems don’t exactly have a sleep cycle, so I may as well get some chores done when we aren’t busy. Speaking of which, what do you have planned for today? _ You’re _the one up early; at least, for a human.” 

Steven glanced at the microwave clock, slight disappointment crossing his face as it turned _ 5:04 _ under his bleary gaze. That disappointment became clearer for just a second, before turning into his usual cheery expression as he turned back to Pearl. “Well, I just wanted to try a new recipe for that coffee machine Dad gave me! Figured it’d take me a few tries. I think I might go see if Little Homeworld needs any help with any new arrivals or buildings; and I know Connie and I plan to hang out later, so I might not be home ‘til sunset.”

Pearl sighed in relief and softly grinned, her small twinge of worry dissipating at his smile. She walked up behind Steven and put her hand on his shoulder, “You two have fun! I might go to the store with Amethyst later afternoon, just to make sure she doesn’t steal anything... If you remember anything you need, I’m just a text away!” She patted his shoulder once more before leaving the house.

Steven grinned back, watching her head disappear under the deck as she left, before turning back to the coffee machine in front of him. His face fell and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. It looks like he lucked out, Pearl didn’t notice him jump at her touch; or so he hopes at least. His thoughts turned back to last night’s dream; the dream that kept him up for hours, until he couldn’t stand just lying quietly in the dark any longer. His skin crawled as his thoughts pulled him farther and farther down. Shaking himself out of it, he turned his focus back to the task at hand.

“Mocha,” he whispered to himself, to the empty house; “Mocha. I can do mocha.” He hoped Little Homeworld was as awake as Pearl; it looked like he’d be stopping by sooner than he thought. _ More for my sake than theirs, _ he mused. As he set the first batch of coffee to brew, he scratched his head and looked back at the microwave clock. _ 5:06. _


	2. If It Swallowed Me Whole...

Steven was falling.

He wasn’t sure for how long, or when he realized. Panic set in as his stomach flipped along with his ragdoll body; he felt too fatigued to move his limbs, despite his situation. It took him another second to realize he wasn’t shutting his eyes or blind. Steven was completely alone, the encompassing darkness so solid it felt like it could slow his descent. As his body turned downwards yet again, he noticed a bright pink light below him, and quickly nearing. He barely managed to shield his face with his arms before the pink took place of the darkness.

Squinting his eyes, Steven struggled to adjust to the change of scenery. He looked around in confusion, the panic still present but lessened as his body slowed its fall. It was kind of pretty; the way different hues of pink softly shifted around him would be soothing if it wasn’t nearly blindingly bright. He only had a moment to appreciate the ambience before the colors started to shift to greyer, duller hues. The panic started to creep back in as he quickly looked around, his face focused. 

The previously calming colors seemed to turn into a thick fog of sickly grey pink; the clouds picking up their speed and slowly closing in on him. Steven started to cough, as the fog turned more into a dark grey, with subtle purple hues fading in and out. He felt what remained of his strength growing ever weaker, barely able to turn his head now. He wanted to curl into a ball, but he kept his head up as best he could, still wary of any imminent danger. The fog- no, smoke- threatened to strangle his fragile lungs, his coughing becoming more frequent, more aggressive. 

Steven faced upwards with his limbs drooping towards (what he could only assume to be) the ground, whenever he wasn’t busy choking on the murky air. His ears suddenly picked up a growing reverberation of sound; a very low, throaty growl coming from below him. Or...around him? Straightening up as best he could, he continued to gasp as he desperately swung his head to find the source. Through the stinging smog he was barely able to notice two- three? Large shapes push through the storm, quickly approaching him. 

Steven’s body went cold, terror running through him as he saw the sheer size of the objects- he was easily smaller than just one of those things. Pushing through his terror to make way for raw fear, he realized as it drew closer that those three shapes were connected- they were claws. _ Oh stars. Oh stars it’s going to crush me. _The ‘paw’ was close enough now to make out the palm, and then the arm, and-

Steven turned around, and immediately wished he didn’t.

The smoke, now orbiting him like he was in the eye of a hurricane, blessedly blocked most of the creature from Steven’s vision. He noticed the claws on the other side of him, and then another pair below that. More concerning to him was the massive face glowing from behind the clouds. He felt the eyes stare directly at him. The face and claws continued to move towards him but slowed and stopped when they nearly encompassed him. 

Steven was uncontrollably shaking. _ Dream- I’m dreaming. I have to be. This is a dream. _ The thoughts provided little comfort; everything _ felt _ real; the wind, the smoke in his lungs, the air shaking from the soft growls of the beast surrounding him. The beast opened it’s impossibly large maw; more purple-grey smoke leaked out, joining the ongoing storm. Steven grasped his head; it felt like his eardrums would break as the beast uttered in it’s low, growling voice;

_**"Are you...under control?”**_

Steven looked up once more to see the beast eyes glow blindingly bright, the pink light somehow assaulting all of his senses, before blacking out.

…

Steven?

…

“_ Steven!” _

Startled yelling came from Steven as his head jerked up from the table it was resting on. He dizzily looked around, panic nearly making him jump from his seat. The voice came from Amethyst, who looked very concerned, her stance looking hesitant to get near him. “Yo, are you ok? I was gonna let you rest out here, but you started shaking and, I guess...coughing? I thought you accidentally ate something while asleep…” Amethyst tried to halfheartedly joke, but the concern stayed on her face.

Steven looked around the moonlit beach, fully remembering where he was. He had taken Connie home just after sunset; they had rewatched some old anime and eating pizza, lacking energy to do much else due to them both being tired (for different reasons). It looks like he dozed off in a seat at the patio table before he could make it in the front door; he mentally cursed himself for not drinking that energy drink Connie had offered earlier.

“Sorry about that Amethyst, guess proper sleeping posture really does affect your sleep,” Steven lied, “but don’t worry about me, I’ll have some cough-less sleep once I get to my bed; thanks for letting me sleep.” He got up from the patio chair and opened the front door, letting Amethyst in first and shutting the door behind them.

Amethyst headed to her temple room, hesitating to walk in. “Are you sure? Don’t mean to be spreading gossip, but...I think Pearl mentioned you waking way earlier than normal this morning, while we were out. I wouldn’t bother you about that kinda stuff, but…” she nodded towards the patio, looking at him with doubt...or was it pity?

Steven plastered on a weak smile while internally groaning. _ Of course Pearl would mention that. _“I’ll be fine, really! Just my sleep schedule messing up...you know, teen things!” Steven grinned, hoping Amethyst would just leave him be.

Amethyst sighed and shrugged, “I _wouldn’t_ know, but I’ll take your word for it. Get some sleep nerd, before you end up spooking Pearl!” Her temple doors shut behind her just as she finished talking. 

Steven furrowed his brows and halfheartedly glared at the door as he turned to stomp up the steps. “Apparently I spooked her already.” he grumbled as he flopped on his bed. Sitting up, his thoughts turned back to his nightmare; he vividly remembered every part of it, why couldn’t he just forget it? That had been the fourth time he experienced it, but this was the first time it was back to back. The beast’s booming voice lingered in his brain.

_“Are you...under control?”_

Steven sat still on the edge of his bed for a moment, before his face screwed in anguish as he clutched his stomach, his gem, and doubled over. He felt like being sick thinking about it all; the dream, the beast, just thinking about trying to sleep almost made him cry. His eyes threatened to drop tears before his hands balled up over his eyes.

A good few minutes were spent like this; spiraling down in his thoughts, body tense as he quietly shielded his tears from the night. He barely noticed the shadow in front of him as a large figure approached him. He looked up to find Lion sitting in front of the window, the moonlight silhouetting his figure, his eyes staring down at Steven's.

Steven sniffled as he tried to think of why Lion was here. His shoulders dropped as he got up and stumbled onto Lion’s mane, tears coming back full force. Lion hesitated to move, noticing a change in the boy’s character. Eventually, Lion gently laid down; Steven followed his movement, as he was still clinging to the pink mane. 

The two stayed on the floor for around 30 minutes as Steven slowly tried to calm himself down. His outburst depleted a lot of his energy; he felt like a shell as he slowly sat up. Looking down at Lion, he tiredly huffed, “Sorry about the mess...I think you were due for a bath anyways.” Steven attempted to dry off the part of Lion’s mane where he had been laying, as it was soaked with salty tears. Lion snorted at his futile attempts, but stayed still anyways.

Lion sat up once Steven was done, but they both stayed on the floor. Steven looked up at the stars outside his window, then turned to look at his clock. _ 4:47am. _ Steven sighed in exasperation before defeatedly turning to Lion. “I guess I may as well get a head start...again. Whaddya say, buddy?” Lion stood as if he understood Steven’s whispers, letting the boy use his side as a crutch to get up.

…

A couple of hours later (around 6:30), Pearl was once again the first to greet Steven. 

“It seems like your body is adjusting very quickly to adulthood; two days in a row that you’re up before 9? That might be a record.” Pearl was cheery this morning; a bit too cheery for Steven’s taste, but he humored her anyways.

“Well, early bird gets the worm, and this bird is hungry for coffee.” Steven replied, as he set the coffee bean bag that he was holding onto the kitchen counter. Pearl then noticed the growing mess of mugs, coffee filters, and other coffee-making paraphernalia littering the counter. She walked up next to him to see what he was making, her brow lowering in concern.

“Back at the coffee hobby, are we? Isn’t there a limit to how much caffeine that adolescents should ingest? I won’t stop you, as long as you remember to clean up later.” Pearl listed as she watched Steven continue to fiddle with the coffee maker and his phone, which seemed to have some kind of recipe on screen. 

Steven was growing more annoyed; the triple combo of his lack of sleep, Pearl’s inquisitive nature, and this recipe just not turning out right the past dozen times was really getting on his nerves. Biting back a more aggressive retort, Steven curtly replied, “Just wanted to try something new; I’ll clean, I won’t drink too much. Anything else?” Pearl definitely noticed something was up, but she decided to chalk it up to his focus on the task at hand. She put a hand on her hip and waved the other as she turned, “Well like I said, I won’t stop you; when you’re done with that, come find Garnet or I; we have a short retrieval mission on Homeworld later today and I’d like you to be briefed before we leave.”

The front door closed louder than normal, and Steven didn’t need to turn to know she left. He felt a bit guilty; being rude with her didn’t solve anything. His stomach twisted as the guilt slowly turned to stubborn anger; but what did she know? He was busy, and she interrupted. His stomach hurt more as he dwelled on this thought- when Steven went to hold his gut, he realized it was his gem that was causing his discomfort. A soft glow emanated through the black shirt, a glow that he didn’t cause. 

The discomfort was growing alongside a headache; Steven had to crouch next to the counter, one hand holding the wood for balance, the other hand on his gem. His thoughts continued to idle on being angry at Pearl, until the dull headache suddenly felt like his head had been split in two. His eyes went wide and he gasped, barely remembering to cover his mouth before letting out a silent scream. 

Ditching the coffee, he stumbled over to the bathroom as his stomach threatened to let up all the coffee he ingested in the past hour and a half. The pain slowly subsided as he stayed gasping over the toilet; eventually he fell back, his back hitting the bathroom wall as he tried to take deep breaths. His hand instinctively went back over his gem, and where there should’ve only been gem and flesh, he felt a third texture; rough...pointy? 

He held his breath, quickly standing up to look in the mirror. Lifting the hem of his shirt so his gem was visible, his eyes widened in bewilderment. His gem...there was some kind of scaly..._ growth _ blooming from the edges, blending with his human skin. He could _ feel his skin changing to the rough surface _. Like pins and needles, he watched it spread across him like a disease. A trembling hand moved towards it, curiosity breaking through his terror. Just before he reached the surface, the sharp pain from the headache returned, surprising him more with how abruptly it came back, rather than the pain itself. Steven cried in surprise, the aforementioned hand moving to his forehead instead.

He gripped his skull hard, realizing as this second wave of pain passed that his finger was...wet. A dull pain bloomed on his finger as he pulled it away from his head, only to find a fairly small but sharp cut. A drop of blood rolled down to his palm as he looked up, finding a small protrusion coming from his head, smeared with a little red. Steven’s composure finally broke; he started to tremble, his face switched from fear to confusion to hysteria, then looping between a mix of the three. He let out a soft broken laugh, looking between the still-growing scales around his gem, the two small _ horns _ poking out of his hair, the blood it drew, _ it was too much. What is happening. I can’t deal with this, I can’t- _

“Uh...Steven? I was gonna leave you be but then I head laughing so. Am I interrupting or…”

Steven yanked the shirt hem down, jumping away from the now-open door. Amethyst was peeking in, wide-eyed worry staring at him. “I- Amethyst! I’m- look!” Steven took a second to get over his surprise, deciding this was concerning enough to share. He lifted his hem back up and pulled his hair back for Amethyst to see why he was so distressed.

Amethyst stood still, looking at his gem, then his forehead, and back to his eyes. “You...have a gem? Why is this news?” She still looked concerned, but her shoulders dropped in relief. She sighed and turned to leave; “Why are you being a spaz? You gotta lay off that coffee bro. Oh by the way, I 'cleaned' up those used coffee filters, tasted pretty good. What are you going for, french vanilla? Just use the creamer, it’s way easier.”

Steven watched her walk off in disbelief, before looking back in the mirror while she kept talking. His gem was normal, no weird pink scales...his forehead was smooth again, not even the blood was there. Considering his state, he decided a lack of sleep and too much caffeine led to a temporary loss of sanity. He didn’t know what else to make of the past 20ish minutes. Collecting his rational thinking, he walked back over to the kitchen to find a warm mug sitting out for him. 

“Decaf, with that french vanilla creamer. Seriously, it’d save you so much time if you didn’t hand make that stuff!” Amethyst explained, pointing at the drink. She continued to clean up the coffee beans Steven spilled during his panic and he walked over. Steven solemnly glanced at the coffee before looking back at Amethyst, who was turned away from him. He knew she wasn’t good with discussing heavy stuff, but really appreciated the sentiment. 

“...Thanks, Amethyst; that’s really nice of you.” Steven sat at the kitchen table and softly smiled down at the warm brew, holding the handle to take a sip. He definitely liked whatever creamer Amethyst used.

Setting the cup back down, his face fell slightly as he moved his hand off the handle. There was a smear of red where his fingers were. He felt like an empty shell again, where a rational reaction would be fear.

_ It’s not the time it takes to make it that I’m worried about, though. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHA we post with minimal editing on the first draft, we die like men; I straight up can't make a story with a beast unless it gets to be a lovecraftian leviathan monstrosity ;>  
ALso. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR A STORY COMPETITION AND USUALLY THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE SHORT AND THIS??? IDK HOW TO END THIS SHORT FFFFFKFKC


	3. fic abandoned

Hey there! Just gonna be blunt- for multiple reasons, I just can't finish this fic. I wanted to say "for the foreseeable future," but for my sanity I just gotta pull the plug on this one. Sorry if you had anticipated an ending! <:U

This fic was super unplanned/improvised and really just served to get me back into writing, which it has! I have 3(+?) Steven Universe AU projects underway that'll include art and writing, and I can't wait to share them with y'all! These are gonna be WAY better than anything I could've planned for this fic; 2 are full of angst, and 1 is full of fluff! I'm gonna give updates on these projects (alongside frequent oneshot works) on my Tumblr blog here: [Mycotian on Tumblr](https://mycotian.tumblr.com/)

  
  
In the meantime, here's a couple awesome SU fic writers I recommend!  
  


  * [SlightlyObsessedwithStories on AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlightlyObsessedwithStories/pseuds/SlightlyObsessedwithStories) \- They've been hitting real hard with the corruption angst, LOVE their attention to detail!  

    * Here's their [(currently) 6 part Corrupted Steven series!](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1545733)
  * [Wisepuma23 on AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wisepuma23/pseuds/wisepuma23) \- Got some real in-depth SU AU stories goin' on with great worldbuilding, definitely not for the faint of heart though! 
    * Here's their [Ghosts fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17624774/chapters/41554112) and their [Lasagna fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17646911/chapters/41613878)! (Don't let the names fool you, they both have HEAVY doses of angst, gore, and/or death, watch the tags!)

Go give those two some love, they work real hard and produce some quality content! (Oh and not to self promote even more, but [here's the only other SU fic I've made](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21581167/chapters/51454564) that I ACTUALLY completed, lol- character death warning!)


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